Notes to the week

Dear Justice,

Your storefront is giving people seizures.  I'm over your lifestyle.  Every nightmare that I ever had in middle school is rooted in your pop-tastic threads and neons.  Never you mind.

Dear Kickball Teammate,

Last night you invited everyone to come out to the 'Ladies' Night' at your new spa...the spa that you and your husband just bought.  Right. Further news?  I made rent this month.  MAZEL.

Dear Twenty-somethings,

Your Quarter Life crisis, perfected.  Please click here and know that you are eerily understood [courtesy of Buzzfeed].  Now shut up and go do something.

Dear Gay Marriage shit going on in the Supreme Court,

There are far too many people on my Twitter feed quoting decisions, and having opinions, and using atrocious grammar. 

So...what. Congrats, gays, on now getting Social Security benefits that won't even be around by then?

I propose a marriage gauntlet for happily engaged couples.  It'll be like Survivor and The Amazing Race - you can't figure out how to ride a camel across the Amazon with your future spouse, then you don't deserve to share a last name.  Case closed.

 Dear Everyone,

Have I told you about Henry Cavill?  Of course I have.  I'm just reminding you....hayhayhayyy.

 

...fantastic.