Kotex is the new Hallmark ...xo

[via iwastesomuchtime.com]

Hahahaha.  I love games. Let's ad lib the fine print:

Live Fearlessly? Because today - you're not pregnant!  Go drink, smoke, and ride roller coasters!

Walk like a champion?  Why.

Be unstoppable?  *what did the one tampon say to the other*

Tampon Slogan Writer loves their job right now.  So hard.  You know that it's some marketing intern, crying in the corner of their cube - how is that newly-framed MBA doing?  Somehow, Corporate seems to have missed the mark on perceived value and differentiation.

There can't be anything creepier than reading words of encouragement as your innards tear.  If I'm a hot mess, that's the last thing I want to read.  Why can't Kotex come with a fkn paint ball gun?

I'm writing in a few winners:

Take it deep.

Rub one out.

No strings attached. (just kidding!!)

Next thing should be Bro Code Bar Code on the box for when they pick up our necessities: "Did you remember the ice cream and rom-coms?" and "We know she's beautiful, but don't tell her that today...she knows you're lying."