Found: Warm Body (in the hotel's water heater.)

I was at the gym this morning.

Thursday routine is spin [insert laundry room pun here], breakfast, recumbent bike & chit chat with Jul and Mr. G.

Jul had the morning buzz from her radio bits earlier on.  Today's topic: the body found in the hot water heater of an L.A. hotel (full story)

Had to Google That Shit (GTS), and wtf Amercia...wtf.

That's insane.  And it's even more insane that the flooding and missing hotel guest three weeks prior weren't like, a red flag or anything.

They found the body because there'd been 'low water pressure' reported.  Guest Annette Sukuzi was 'disgusted, simply disgusted' because the body was brewing in the hotel's water supply...also her drinking water.  Thank you, Annette Suzuki.

Bet if we told them it was zero calories and helped fat loss, there'd be a new Slim Fast shake in the works as of yesterday.

*zing*

So my date wore a kilt

"Holy balls. Is he commando??" - PIC

"Keep your hands to yourself young lady! A man in a kilt can always make you crazy!" - Mrs. H

Yes.  My roommates and I get invited to the oldest, most prestigious bachelor's club event in the continental US.

And then a young man shows up to our apartment in a kilt.

To his credit he was a great date.  Considering the furry pouch and rabbits' feet draped around his waist and crotch.  And condsidering my low-grade fever and nausea. The night was all rabbits' feet and no tail.

Hey you wanna make out?

Dating is like, so much fun. Not.

Dating is weird. It's a lot of Naked Twister and then "Left Hand Blue Balls, you idiot" or "How did I end up on my back again?".

Online dating gives you carte blanche to actively dismiss, judge, and cream over randoms. It's the most excellent experiment in social graces and human nature. Do you know that most people are not normal?

One of my friends had been on a date - and within the first five minutes, her online suitor had asked if 'those things are real, because I've been burned in the past.'

Haha! What even is that??

Bar time dating is equally awkward. Thanks to SMS texting. So last night I'm at TPs. It's a local sports bar. The crowd is older dudes and sometimes their old ladies, and then the twenty-somethings swoop in on occasion.

Last night's birthday fest turned into a middle school dance. Guys were on one end of the bar, chicks were on the other.

I get a text from Birthday Boy:

Wanna go outside and make out?

Fastforward a half hour - getting lifted onto the outdoor bar. So far so good. Then the 23-year-old tells you he feels like the 'young buck that's being taken advantage of'...and then him screaming...'OMG I HAVE A BONER - just kidding.'

Cringe. Even I have standards.

But hey it's better to be shut down by some ho than getting gunned down by your husband on Valentine's Day (nice job, Pistorious). Yikes, glad we got the first tasteless joke out of the way.

Enter the spin cycle

Are you ready? LIKE ARE YOU REALLY READY FOR THIS???

On that note. It's a Saturday night. Harry Potter is on. I just picked the cookie dough out of a heaping bowl of ice cream (yep.). But that's okay because I got a little play last night.

I also ran into LaundryRoomGuy ("LRG") and his dad last night. Great, right? This blog is fantastically dedicated to that incident. His dad always gives me the creepiest head nod and 'I-know-you-blew-my-son' grin. Yeah. I should mention that my grandma walked in on that.

I'm a little rusty...dusty...but it's time to wipe away the cobwebs, throw open the shades and throw your feet up in the air [ladies].  Drop your drawers. Enter the spin cycle.